Dear Internet,
There is something I have been wanting to tell you about for a long time. At first, I thought it was an issue that would sort of work itself out without my intervention, but after a while I knew that I was wrong. After reading blog after blog and comment after comment, I came to realize that this was a pretty big problem, but I thought, “What can I do? I'm only one person.” Now I see that if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem. I was finally pushed over the line when this very morning, this issue jumped off the pages of the Internet and invaded my world: the world of boring technical journal papers. This single incident has shown me that this problem is of epidemic proportions and must be stopped. Therefore, I choose to begin my movement here. I will be silent no longer. I'm drawing a line in the sand. The gloves are off, Internet. You messed with the wrong man. Here, then, is what I need to tell you: THE WORD YOU ARE TRYING TO SPELL IS “lose,” L-O-S-E. IT IS NOT FREAKING “loose.” CAN YOU GET THAT ALREADY? You did NOT loose your wallet. That store will not loose a customer. “Loose” IS NOT USED AS A VERB IN THAT WAY, OK?! You have loose change in your pocket. A casino has loose slots. Ok, it's freaking ONE freaking o for the verb which means you didn't win or you parted with something unintentionally. It's TWO o's for the adjective that describes something not tight or restrained in some way. Now, as it happens, you can loose a boat from a dock, but trust me, you are not at all trying to say that. Generally, you are just being an idiot. I don't know if Microsoft Word is unable to catch this and so you just started spelling “lose” with an extra o all the time, but honestly Internet, you need to stop this right now. I will personally pay out of my own pockets for Microsoft to add a special grammar check thing that makes a window pop up every time somebody types “loosing” into Word. The box will contain the definition of “lose” as a verb and the definition of “loose” as a verb. Dang, they can even make the paper clip cartoon guy say it, I don't care. Just start teaching people the difference between these two words before I go INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE. For those of you amused that you've found a button to press to get me all riled up, well congratulations. You did find that button. It's a big flipping huge button and it says 'ONE FREAKING O' on it. Feel free to push it, but just know that I will delete all comments that demonstrate a lack of knowledge about the difference between these two words. Well, Internet, that's all I came to say. The battle lines are drawn. Your move.
Most Sincerely,
The Dude
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4 comments:
While you're at it, let's throw out "rediculous". It is spelled ridiculous, homies.
The Dude, how many letters have you written to the Internet? You two seem to have a long, sordid past together.
You mean there are more of these letters? Drag 'em out. Loose 'em on us, dude.
LOL... so, if I were to say that you seem to be 'loosing' your marbles along with your 'lose' change, you'd pretty much kill me, right? Well... yeah, I'd pretty much deserve it, too. Ha. That's just fun.
My English Major nature got the better of me, and I had to delete my prior comment after realizing that I had properly used the word 'losing.' Ah, well. I tried.
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