Vision

As a freshman in college six years ago, I met and ran with a group of interesting friends. One of my then-newly-acquired friends, let's call him Paul, had a younger brother, Peter, who was a senior in high school. Peter would come down from Chicago and visit and we would all party together.

Soon after I met these cats, we got an epic brawl with a fraternity that is still spoken of today, although it's legend comes with the inevitable distortions. I won't go into further eyewitness detail other than my crew escaped less hurt although we were outnumbered 4 to 1. During this impossible fight, Peter armed himself with a brick fragment that used to strike opponents brutally but effectively. Later, Peter would show us how his purpled thumb was bruised and raw from clutching the unforgiving brick. At one point, in the disorienting fog of undisciplined combat, Peter unknowingly hit one of our friends in the back with the brick fragment, which prompted the friend to look back, see Peter, and exclaim, "Hey, I'm on your team!"

This subplot was the object of much laughter after we stumbled back to the dorms later that morning and traded war stories until the sun rose. The "team" reference stirred settled memories of childhood games, which contrasted strikingly with the sobering seriousness of the overall situation we just had been in. It seems that we were still only children.

Peter would come for a weekend and play video games all day Saturday until we went out. He had the strange habit of sitting very close to the T.V. Later that year, Peter got eyeglasses. He was excited about the prospects of being able to see properly. He explained to us that he never knew that he needed any corrective measures. After I called him a dumbass, he went on to say he just thought that everyone saw the way he saw, and it was natural to squint to see things farther away. It was only after he had an eye exam that he learned his vision was poor.

I recently learned my compassion is poor. I read how Jesus told the people that just saw him feed over 10,000 people that they seek him not because they saw signs, but because they ate and were filled. I realized I have been more about self-gratifying arguments than the self-silencing Bread of Life. I have asked God to root out this insidious insurrection and renew me with His Resurrection. He told me it's gonna hurt. I asked Him to hold my hand. He said He would.