Well, I got through my exam. Thank you, everyone that prayed, especially those that told me they would. I'm not really sure how I did. I surely did not have much of a clue on about 30 of the 180 questions. There were times that I perceived the general concept that exam makers were trying to test, but I wasn't sure how to apply the particulars (I knew where to go, but didn't know how to get there).
On the other hand, I smoked a good amount of questions easily. So, I'll have to wait and see. I won't be sitting by the mailbox, though, I'll find out when I find out. The last time I knew I destroyed a test was probably in high school, that was a great feeling...
Post-exam was surreal. I think my brain just packed up and went on vacation for the night. In October, the next time the exam is offered, I'm gonna show up around 5 pm to sell the Sears Tower to the exam takers. In fact, I might be taking that exam if I failed...The horror.
I wonder if I worshipped God during the exam. I spent time in meditation before it, and thanked the Lord afterwards, but during it, my mindset became adversarial, war-like, combative, me versus these questions. I cursed in defeats, giving into rage; I gloated in victories with a "hell, yeah"; I wholeheartedly stopped and called on God twice. I need to figure out if this pleased my Father. I'd love some comments.
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>>I wonder if I worshipped God during the exam... during it, my mindset became adversarial, war-like, combative, me versus these questions. I cursed in defeats, giving into rage; I gloated in victories with a "hell, yeah"; I wholeheartedly stopped and called on God twice.>>
Good question, man. I've thought about this before, because I tend to take exams in war mode too. Ultimately, I know God wants me to "praise" Him with an excellent effort. The more I retain an awareness of God's presence in the heat of battle, the more honoring it is to Him. A prayerful attitude definitely helps.
I did pray for you, btw. Here's hoping you kicked it.
Thanks so much for the prayers, Ariel.
It's great to know that someone else has wondered along these same lines; I don't want to be legalistic, but excellence requires diligence.
In reality, I think I missed the mark, but I am eager for the next chance. Let's hope I don't get that chance in October, though.
i have often wondered at the idea of worshipping God at all times...what does that even mean? is it possible to always be conscious of God? if we aren't in a conversation with Him, does that mean that we are not worshipping Him? i wonder...
i have tried to include Him in everything--to think, "oh, i should ask God", but then at times i feel ashamed for not asking Him about some thing that i have already taken action for...but it is seemingly impossible.
constant worshipping--i feel like i fail so frequently...i wonder what God thinks, requires, expects...
the enemy does create guilt and condemnation.
anon,
you have echoed many of the things I have been wrestling with, thanks for commenting.
Recently, God has given me some victories in a more consistent awareness of Him, which has been transcendent.
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