am I insane?

Bad news:
My car was sideswiped as it sat parked on my street last Monday morning, October 25th.

Good news:
I was hit by a white guy. My father, the tow truck driver, and the body shop owner all commented in various ways that I was fortunate to be hit by a white guy. Both the body shop owner and the tow truck driver were ever so reassuring once I further informed them he had State Farm. "State Farm? You're set. State Farm pays for everything. A white guy with State Farm? You'll be fine."

Bad news:
A woman hit the blessing-in-the-form-of-a-whitey, which caused him to hit my car. She caused the accident, so her insurance should pay for the white man's damage and mine.

Good news:
She admitted she caused the accident and produced an insurance card.

Bad news:
She's not on the policy. I found out that out today after the third call I've made to her insurance company, Affirmative Insurance. Meanwhile, my car sits at the body shop, racking up storage fees if I decide not to get it fixed there. They estimate the damage at $3600,plus $290 emergency tow. Possible scenarios include small claims court.
I am exasperated.

The lady from Affirmative tells me the claim is still being reviewed and "as soon as they know anything, they will call me". The adjuster handling my claim is out of town on vacation until Monday, a fact he didn't let me know the two times I talked to him last week.

Lady: "So whenever management decides what to do about this claim, we'll let you know."
Me: "It's already been one week."
Lady: "Yeah, one week, for reviewing a claim involving an uninsured driver, yeah, that's not too long."
Me: "So when can I expect this to be resolved?"
Lady: "I can't advise you as to how long it will take. Management will review the claim and as soon as we know---blah, blah, blah (I tune out at this point, feeling like my arms are two short to box with God)--let you know"
Me: "My car's in the shop this whole time. This--I mean, what am I supposed to do?"
Lady: "I understand sir, but the claim is being reviewed by management. As soon as we know--(if you say that one more damn time)--let you know"
Me: "So, really, you have no incentive to get this done quickly"
Lady: "We review each claim as quickly as we can. But we won't speed through a claim just because someone wants us to get it done quickly"
Me (about to give up on this call, looking for a closing kick in the balls, so I can tuck my tail between my legs and wait like an ugly girl on prom night for the captain of the football team to pick me up): "So, I guess I'll just wait...Do you think it'll be a couple of days, or what?
Lady: "I can't say how long it will be. Management will review the claim and as soon as we know--(you IDIOT, now I am pissed)--let you know"
Me: "You can't say? Why not? What about an average? What's the average time for a claim?"
Lady: "There are no averages. Each claim takes it's own time to review---"
Me: "No averages? What?"
Lady: "THERE are no averages. Each claim t--"
Me: "What?"

Lady: "Each claim takes it's own time to review. There are a number of different factors that affect---(I'm not even hearing this, I'mthinking, you fool, what do mean there are no averages? Just because you don't know the average time it takes for a claim to be reviewed, it doesn't mean there aren't any. There have to exist some idea of average claim times. How else could your shitty ass company staff your office with a correct number of knuckle-dragging freaks to ruin my life without having any idea of how many hours of your vapid work daysit would take?)

Me: "Just because you don't know the average time it takes doesn't mean that it doesn't exist-- (I begin to get into the rant that's tearing across my mind like a wildfire, but then, alas, my conscience pricks me). But, uh, yeah, that's fine, I--"

Lady(cutting me off): THERE AREN'T ANY AVERAGE TIMES. Each claim takes a different amount of time to review. We cannot give you any--(Now, I'm really pissed off because I tried to give up on this waste of my life, but this automaton wouldn't let me. What does it mean to say there isn't an average amount of time that a claim takes? An average exists for every n numbers, n>1. There is a sense of the metaphysical seduction that insists to me that this is so. But, more pragmatically, one can find an average for ANY group of numbers. Right? You take your numbers, add em up, divide by the number of numbers, and boom! Average. Now just because this phone monkey is too far down on the corporate footstool to Affirmative Insurance management prominence to be aware of any average times that loathsome victims accursed enough to have to deal with them have to endure, doesn't mean she should be allowed to prattle on about the ontological nonexistence of mathematical realities whose very being are independant of and, in fact, indicting of, her ignorance)

Me: There are average times. You may not be aware of them.

Lady: There are NO average times. Each claim takes a different amount of time.
(Silence, as if she completed her retort)

Me (laughing incredulously): You know, --(Isn't it funny how people are unaware of the emptiness, the sheer lack of substantive ideas that spew from their mouths? It's made more flagrant by a bellicose demeanor. I wish that I could affect people's hearing, so that when they are attempting to say something utterly valueless, that the words they are trying to form are not audible to them. Then, perhaps, by some miraculous leap of progression, similar in scope to a single celled organism evolving into a zebra, this person would understand that what they are attempting to say is categorically worthless. This woman just told me that there do not exist any averages for the length oftime it takes for her company to review insurance claims. She went onto reinforce that lofty ideaby kindly informing me that each claim took a different amount oftime.

NO SHIT, DUMBASS!
How sad would my life be if I asked for an average of the SAME NUMBERS? 'Uhh, yeah, each claim of the past 74 claims took 1,037 hoursto review, ok, can I get an average of those times?' DO IT WITH ME, MORON, THE AVERAGE OF A GROUP OF NUMBERS THAT ARE ALL EQUAL IN VALUE IS... THAT VALUE!

What's the average time of tasks A-AC that take
A. 8 min,
B. 8 min,
C. 8 min,
D. 8 min,
E. 8 min,
F. 8 min,
G. 8 min,
H. 8 min,
I. 8 min,
J. 8 min,
K. 8 min,
L. 8 min,
M. 8 min,
N. 8 min,
O. 8 min,
P. 8 min,
Q. 8 min,
R. 8 min,
S. 8 min,
T. 8 min,
U. 8 min,
V. 8 min,
W. 8 min,
X. 8 min,
Y. 8 min,
Z. 8 min,
AA. 8 min,
AB. 8 min and, umm,
AC. 8 min?

PUT DOWN YOUR TI-83Plus, IT'S 8 F-IN MINUTES!!!
TELLING ME THAT THERE IS NO AVERAGE TIME THAT CLAIMS TAKE, THENOFFERING THAT EACH CLAIM TAKES A DIFFERENT AMOUNT OF TIME IS LIKE STABBING ME IN THE FACE WITH A SHOVEL.
WHY WOULD AN AVERAGE EXIST AS A LOGICAL VALUE UNLESS THE NUMBERS BEING AVERAGED WERE DIFFERENT? WHAT IS THE POINT OF EXAMINING THE AVERAGE OF A GROUP OF NUMBERS? ISN'T IT CONCRETELY BASED ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT THE GROUP OF NUMBERS AREN'T ALL THE SAME VALUE? ISN'T IT PRECISELY ONE OF MANY WAYS TO OBTAIN A MATHEMATICAL DESCRIPTION OF THEENTIRE GROUP, TO SOMEHOW AID IN THE ANALYSIS OF THE GROUP, WHETHER IT BE COMPARING THE GROUP TO A PREVIOUS GROUP, OR LABELING THE GROUP BY IT'S AVERAGE INSTEAD OF HAVING TO REFER TO EVERY INDIVIDUAL VALUE THAT MAKE UP THE GROUP, OR EVEN PROGNOSTICATING THE VALUE OF THE NEXT NUMBER THAT WOULD BE A PART OF THE GROUP, IN THE GALACTICALLY FAR OFF CHANCE THAT THE VALUE OF THAT NEXT NUMBER COULD MEAN FOR SOME MAN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE WONDERFUL REASSURANCE OF KNOWING AREALITY-BASED, HISTORICALLY-VERIFIABLE IDEA OF HOW LONG HIS CAR WOULD BE UNDER THE KNIFE AND THE BLACK AMBIGUITY OF HAVING NO CLUE WHEN HE COULD EXPECT TO HAVE WHEELS?)
--uhh, alright, forget it. I guess I'll just wait to see what you guys decide. Umm, thanks, have a good day"

Lady: "You too sir"